Across the World It Came

Yes. Yes. It happened. And I'm so happy about it, I can still scarcely believe it. My letter finally got here! After two weeks of not hearing Trevor, of being ever so "patient," and having slight meltdowns and picking myself back up again by telling myself "it's coming, it's coming," it finally got here from the other side of the world.

I arrived home late Monday afternoon to see a box and a fedex envelope waiting for me. I knew what the box was because unfortunately, over the break, the screen of my Acer laptop completely cracked. It was a traumatizing event that made me so angry I just got online an bought myself a beautiful HP pavilion despite lack of funds. This was the second major issue I had with my Acer laptop's screen and they didn't cover cracks in my warranty. Seeing as that computer was less than a year old, I was sick of dealing with it thus Acer and mine's relationship is over forever.

Anyway, I stared at the envelope, not daring to get my hopes after the 14+ days of waiting. I opened it. And well...let's just say that his letter might as well have been laced with speed and ecstasy because there was screaming, shrieking, jumping, and fist jumping in pure joy and excitement. My first letter from India had made its way to me. There are not enough words to describe how happy and appreciate I am to have received my letter. It came at a time when I definitely could use a pick me up and Trevor, being the wonderful person he is, wrote exactly what I needed to hear/technically read.

And Trevor is doing great. He's happy, healthy and as sweet as ever. I'm lucky to have such a thoughtful boy in my life. His companion is really helping him adapting and is sensitive to his foreign needs so I'm very grateful to Elder Challadurai for taking good care of him. They have baptisms scheduled every Sunday next month. I'm amazed at the maturity and growth that I can already see taking place. It is truly profound how the Lord's work can affect us. And of course, he loves the Indian branch of McDonald's:

I LOVE EGGNOG!!!

I was so happy to see this on the shelf at Foodland that I knocked down a quart of milk and dropped my sprees to get to it. This is the face of pure joy.

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My Gratitude List

Two years ago, I was a senior in high school, ruling my secondary education kingdom, eating crackers and cheese with my sister.
One year ago, I was sitting in my dorm room eating a can of tomato soup, reading a Cosmo, completely depressed.
Today, I'm happy as can be living in a house, watching a movie with my awesome housemates, and going to an actual Thanksgiving dinner with one of my favorite families in all of Laie.
It's amazing how far we can come in life in just a short amount of time. I feel so blessed for all that I have and all that I've experienced.

"Gratitude is the inward feeling of kindness received. Thankfulness is the natural impulse to express that feeling. Thanksgiving is the following of that impulse."

I'd like to share a small part of my Thanksgiving. It would take a book to describe everything I am grateful for but I can start with a list (in no particular order). 

1-7. My amazing family and everyone in it. 

8. Trevor, my best friend

9. Melly, my saving grace

10-14. My amazing housemates: Jess, Molly, Hailey and Athena

15. My extended family and all their love and support. There's many of you so one space doesn't do you justice but you'd take up too many spaces. Just know that I love you.

16. The gospel

17. A loving Heavenly Father

18. Prayer

19. The scriptures

20. My school

21. Music

22. Singing

23. Dancing

24. Animals

25. Movies

26. The prophet

27. Kisses from a certain someone

28. Jesus Christ

29. My house

30. Having been provided the means to put a roof over my head

31. My job

32. Having my job be awesome

33. Indoor plumbing

34. Letters

35. Pen

36. Paper

37. Ink

38. Pencils

39. Erasers

40. The mail system

41. The grocery store

42. The priesthood

43. Airplanes

44. Money

45. Heating

46. Air conditioning

47. Electricity

48. The internet

49. Books

50. The printing press

51. Cars

52. This beautiful island of Oahu

53. The beach

54. Water

55. A variety of cultures

56. Toliet paper

57. Toliets

58. Showers

59. Sinks

60. Make-up

61. Eyebrows

62. Hair

63. Brushes

64. Combs

65. Bobby Pins

66. Hair ties

67. The Ram's for all their kindness and generosity

68. My grandparents

69. Missionary work

70. Temples

71. The promise of eternal marriage

72. Skype

73. Cell phones

74. Blankets

75. Pillows

76. Light bulbs

77. Being able to read

78. Being able to write

79. Cleaner

80. Farmers

81. Video cameras

82. A stove

83. Shakespeare

84. The theatre

85. Mattresses

87. Teachers

88. Creativity

89. Refrigerators

90. Cupboards

91. Trees

92. Rain

93. Headphones

94. Curlers

95. Straighteners

96. Life

97. Sweat pants

98. Flowers

99. Safety pins

100. Sewing machines

101. Government

102. Numbers

103. Photographs

104. Highlighters

105. Colored pencils

106. Paint

107. Boots

108. Watches and clocks

109. Rivers

110. Beauty

111. Artistry

112. The ability to create

113. The ability to love

114. The ability to give life

115. Power

116. Computers

117. People who preserve old cultures and traditions

118. Temple work

119. Baptisms for the dead

120. Dancing shoes

121. Smiles

122. Doctors

123. Dentists

124. Medicine

125. Ibuprofen

126. Breathing

127. Jones soda

128. Caffeine

129. The ability to cry

130. The ability to feel

131. Insurance

132. Construction

133. Financial Aide

134. Scholarships

135. Mirrors

136. Towels

137. DVDs

138. Being able to think for myself

139. The companionship of the Holy Ghost

140. Knowing I'm loved by others

141. Bravery 

142. Being able to lift ourselves back up when we fall down

143. For people's patience

145. Email

146. Coats and sweaters

147. Fire

148. The sun

149. All the stars

150. The moon

151. Air freshener

152. Microwaves

153. Google

154. Recipe books

155. Laughter

156. Hope

157. Faith

158. Courage

159. Service

160. Love

161. Locks and keys

162. Candles

163. Matches

164. Lighters

165. Scissors

166. Rainbows

167. The radio

168. Windows

169. Chairs

170. Tables

171. Doors

172. Musical instruments

173. The genius and ability of others

174. All that my parent's have taught me 

175. Independence

176. Living in a democracy

177. The newspaper

178. Washing machines

179. Shampoo and conditioner

180. Deodorant

181. General Conference

182. The wind

183. Starbucks

184. The support of my family

185. Hailey

186. Rhett

187. Carter

188. Any other friends that I have learned from and can rely on

189. The Atonement

190. The mountains

191. My health

192. Having a body

193. Filtered water

194. Education

195. Febreeze

196. Toothpaste

197. Opportunities

198. Strawberries

199. Our fore fathers

200. Razors

201. Forgiveness

202. Lotion

203. Keyboards 

204. My bed

205. The future

206. The ability to change

207. The ability to heal

208. Libraries

209. Trials

210. Being included

211. Animals

212. Planners

213. Strength

214. Acne medicine

215. Sleep

216. Yoga

217. Relaxation time

218. Tucker

219. Girls' Nights

220. Fuzzy socks

221. Shelves

222. Raid Spray

223. Bishop

224. The Bishop's Storehouse

225. Sight

226. Hearing

227. Smell

228. Touch

229. Feminine Products

230. Homeless shelters

231. Dad's cooking

232. Calendars

233. Hugs

234. Comfort

235. Warmth

236. Hot baths

237. The feminist movement

238. The constitution

239. Having there always be a way

240. Revelation 

241. Knowledge

242. Folders

243. Open minds

244. Open spaces

245. Intelligent conversations

246. Silliness

247. Craziness!

248. Epic stories

249. Undeveloped land

250. Conservation efforts

251. Whip Cream from the can

252. Boats

253. Listening

254. Sunlight

255. Vitamin D

256. My memory

257. Mother Eve

258. The Abrahamic Covenant

260. Christmas

261. Fly swatters

262. Not having to be perfect to be loved

263. Colors

264. Musicals

265. Summer

266. Vacations

267. Soap

268. My son, Kobe

269. Motivation

270. Emma Smith

271. Joseph Smith

272. Burt's Bees Healing Ointment

273. Babies

274. Imagination

275. Collaboration

276. The invention of the wheel

277. Options

278. Ideas

279. Notifications

280. Clouds

281. Bowls

282. Eating utensils

283. Examples

284. Thomas Jefferson

285. Bread

286. The Sacrament

287. Second Chances

288. Good timing

289. Pleasant surprises

290. Safe drivers

291. Bonding

292. Compassion

293. Nail clippers

294. Happy mediums

295. Instinct

296. Honesty

297. The moments were you just feel happy and content for no reason

298. Lazy afternoons

299. Affection

300. Seat belt

301. Shopping malls

302. Shopping carts

303. Spell check

304. Running

305. That my mom didn't pierce my ears when I was younger

306. Sunsets and sunrises

307. Signs

308. Hair dryers

309. Carpet

310. Food storage

311. Rechargeable batteries

312. Blistex

313. Going home after a long day

314. Spending time with my family

315. Sunscreen

316. Aloe Vera

317. The Visitors' Center

318. Living so close to the temple

319. Snacks

320. Pots and pans

321. The thesaurus

322. Learning new words

323. Not being tone-deaf

324. Chiropractors

325. Movie rentals

326. That taste buds change

327. Crock pots

328. Experiences

329. Being trusted

330. Online applications

331. The pioneers

332. Herbs

333. Nebulizers

334. Thumb tacks

335. Maps

336. Green houses

337. Privacy

338. Heated pools

339. Vaccines

340. Craig's List

341. Declaration of Independence

342. Being able to dress myself

343. Being able to move in heels

344. Flashlights

345. Play time

346. Finding lost things

347. That I don't struggle with the Word of Wisdom

348. Being able to travel

349. For all the wonderful people I've met this year

350. YOU! Because if you're reading this, I'm grateful for you too!

I love you all!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

On It's Way to SLC

After two hours of warming up, practicing, and trying to figure out the camera angles as I film myself in a practice room largely taken over by a grand piano, I finally did. I completed my application and DVD audition for the performing mini-mission in Nauvoo for the summer. It was quite a feat. Filming yourself singing and performing is not an easy thing to do. In fact, I think I scared the people in the practice room next to me away. They weren't in there for very long and I was being super loud and then they just upped and left. Shrug.

The requirements for my DVD included two minutes of an upbeat, broadway song, two minutes of a hymn or ballad, scales from lowest to highest note, and a dramatic reading. Therefore my DVD consisted of:

• The Spark of Creation from Children of Eden
• My Kindness Shall Not Depart from Thee, an amazing song based on the Lord's words to Joseph in Liberty Jail
• My scales--those were funny
• A short monologue from Dancing At the Lughnasa, minus the Irish accent because you're not supposed to do an accent for auditions but it sounded super weird with out it because that's how I learned it. But whatev. 

Anyway, as of 10:48 AM Hawaii time, it is in the mail on its way over to good old Salt Lake City. I'm actually super excited.  I've always said that I would never go on a mission when I was younger. However, if I were to go on a mission this one would be perfect for me! It's only four months long, I get to go through the intense daily scripture study which I would actually love, and instead of proselyting, I get to sing and dance!  Nothing may come of it-after all they do only take 20 people a year. But I'm proud of myself for applying and trying to come up with options for this summer. I would be so happy if I got accepted. Because as much as I love this rock of Oahu, I need to get off of it for a few months and go see more of the world.

Since the chances of getting into the pageant are not impossible but slim, I'm also applying to a few different study abroad programs through BYU. If I do get into the Nauvoo pageant, my back up is to study abroad in the Fall instead. That would be awesome. To go from a mission to across the world!

Anyway, I'm getting overly excited. But we shall see what happens.

I'm too shy and embarrassed to post my whole audition on here. But I'm willing to share my scales because I think they're funny.

This Rock Isn't Perfect

I live on the beautiful island of Oahu. It is everything you'd imagine a tropical paradise to be-beaches, nice weather, palm trees, waterfalls, the works. It truly is a wonderful place and I love it. But let's get real-it's a dot in the middle of the pacific. While there are lot of things I love about this place, there are definitely things I don't like such as the price of cheese but there are also a lot of things I miss. A lot of items aren't available on the island or are replaced to fit in with the local culture. There are just some things that only a sizable land mass can provide. 

STUFF I MISS:

1. In and Out

2. Grocery Prices (especially in the dairy department)

3. Amazing Mexican Food

4. Knowing you can just keep driving for miles and miles

5. Winter

6. Not having the humidity  and wind ruin your face and hair the moment you step out the door

7. My family

8. Jones Sodas

9. Variety on the radio station

10. Not being labeled as a tourist because I want to take a picture of something

11. Not having my feet get sweltering hot in the moments when I do decide to wear closed-toed shoes

12. Amusement parks

13. Macaroni and Cheese from KFC. Here, they just serve rice.

14. Professional sports games, especially football

15. Not being looked at critically because I'm not tan

16. Ballroom and contemporary dance

17. Being able to wear hot, sexy jackets without getting heat exhaustion

18. Amazing movie theaters like The District

19. Running around barefoot in the snow this time of year

20. Fireworks

21. Having going to the beach feel like a special occasion

22. Not having to shave all the time

23. Being able to buy taco seasoning in bulk at the grocery store

24. Having stores readily at hand so I don't have to order it online because waiting a week is easier than trying to work up the time and energy for a bus ride into town or wal-mart

25. Personal space

26. Artsy films being played in the movie theatre

27. More variety in the clothing department with cheaper prices

28. Not getting my slippers or towels taken

29. Being able to go to a variety of big cities

30. Not being weird for wanting to swim in a swimming pool

Inspiration-Willow Trees

And I will love to see the day

The day is mine

When she will marry me outside

With the willow trees

Guy on a Buffalo!

This video kills me every time. 

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Twilight, I have choice words for you

OMG! Breaking Dawn! I freaking Edward! OMG Edward! OMG Bella! OMG Jacob's Abs! OMG I'm a fourty year old woman and can no longer find the same romantic satisfaction in my own life so I'm going to obsess myself over this masterful teen-culture novel featuring this supposedly perfect, flawless vampire boyfriend instead of doing something to re-kindle the fire in my own marriage! OMG I'm an angsty teenage girl/or boy who can't figure out how to properly express my self in real life so I'm going to indulge in this truly crappy piece of writing instead of reading decent books.

OMG gag me, gouge my eyes out, and cut me with a spoon because I'm just sick thinking about all the money this stupid franchise is going to make this weekend. 

If this isn't apparent yet, I have come to hate Twilight. Not completely Stephanie Meyer mind you because her other book, The Host, was actually quite decent. But I do not like Twilight or her writing in that book. Now, I know what all the Twilight championers are going to say out there: "YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS!" To all you Twilight lovers out there, and I commend the courageous spirit you take on when defending your franchise over youtube comments, let me make this very clear that no, actually I'm not jealous at all. As an aspiring writer and actress, I would be ashamed to have my name associated with such a terrible piece of work. So in fact, I'm grateful Stephanie Meyer and Kristin Stewart's names are written all over Twilight and mine is not. Furthermore, as someone closely familiarized with the art and technicalities of writing and acting, I hate Twilight because for the most part, it's just terrible.

Now I do say for the most part because there are a few good things about it. We can go over those first. The books are engaging. I will confess my sins and admit that the first time I read the first three books, I wasn't crazy about them but I enjoyed them enough to finish them within a day or so of starting them. That was of course until I tried reading them again and was like Oh wait, these books are like exactly the same. But Meyers is good at saving her goods till the end and keeping a reader invested enough to keep reading. She's a good story-teller, not a good writer, at least not in these books, but yes, a good story teller. We can even give her some points for creativity. She took the overused subject of vampires and made it her own fruity, sparkly thing. Yeah, we'll be generous and give her some points there. And as for the movie, well the movies actually have gorgeous cinematography. It's gritty, artistic, and beautiful. I love the coloring and the different angles. I will watch the movies, not in theatre, but when they come out on DVD because I do appreciate great camera work. The other good thing about Twilight movies is it's an excellent place to people watch.

Now that all being said, let's move on. First of all, what kind of messages or themes do you take from Twilight? I think Stephen King said it best: "Harry Potter is all about confronting fears, finding inner strength, and doing what is right in the face of adversity. Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend."
There is no real message to be taken out of the Twilight books with the exception of "Don't have sex till after you're married" but that's more of a device Stephanie Meyer used than an actual theme or message. All we see is Bella falling in love with Edward for no reason, falling apart when he's gone, becoming an angsty teenager herself, and then getting knocked up. I'm not saying that every book has be profound but if you're going to spend four books on a story, I should be able to get some meaning out of it by the end. All I've got was unrealistic expectations about love. Which brings us to the next point, the plot. The plot in every book is basically the same structure. We spend the first half of the book in Bella's angst, then someone comes along who wants to kill her or in the last book, her baby, and we all rally to save her life. She's saved. More Bella and Edward drama. The end. The characterization for each character is pretty one-dimensional and inconsistent. Bella can't do anything for herself and being in her head is nauseating. The love between her and Edward is shallow. The writing itself is full of cliches and weak writing choices. And Stephanie Meyer is unwilling to take risks with anything. And I could go on forever but I won't. It is just not good writing.

In fact, the only thing I enjoy about those books is Jacob and Charlie because their the only main characters who I can see as real people,  and well even Jacob has his moments.

Now the movies. Well other than terribly-written dialogue, crappy special affects, and really bad make-up, there is the blatant fact that Kristen Stewart, bless her heart, cannot act. I have never seen a Kristen Stewart film where I enjoy her in it. She is just so bad I don't even know where to begin. I don't even have to look at Twilight for this one. I kind of want to die every time I see the Snow White and the Huntsman trailer because everything about it looks so epic except Kristen Stewart. First of all, she's pretty but fairest of them all is kind of a stretch to me. Second of all, she's pulling the same faces that she makes in all of her movies: big confused eyes, lips parted with her teeth poking through. That face is so diverse it can go from being "I'm Bella Swan and I'm in love with two men" to "I'm Snow White, running through the woods." Third of all, the trailer doesn't use any of her dialogue and thankfully not too many clips of her-they probably couldn't find any that didn't have that expression with the exception of the one of her on her back. But we've already seen that one a million times too when Bella is 'sleeping'. I think it's a sign.

POINT MADE:

Writing Prompt #2

The following is a piece written for a writing prompt as we learn about writing memoirs in class. I'm not crazy about it but I figured I'd share till I come up with something more interesting to share:

 I didn't become acquainted with the concept of people saying stuff about other people to make themselves feel better until 8^th grade. I was grading papers for as a TA for my drama teacher. I was reading through play reviews for a production that I had been a part of and was shocked to see my name listed on one paper listed as the worst actress. My stomach churned as I read it. There was no criticism of my acting skills listed. Had that been the case, I would've just assumed this person obviously didn't know anything about the theater, regarded them as uncultured and less intelligent, worked my self through the oncoming self doubts, tell myself I'd been cast in the show for a reason, and ultimately, gotten over it. But the paper in front of me read:

“Bailey Loveless was my least favorite actress because I think she's really full of herself.”

My innocent, little 8^th grade eyes could not believe what they were reading. I turned over the paper to see a girl's name. Rachel Smith. I'm pretty sure that up to that point I'd have never met Rachel Smith before in my life. I read the paper over and over again, baffled and humiliated.

From there on, I paid a lot more attention to the talk that circulated the school and kept track of what's been stacked up against me with over the years. False stories and rumors continued to follow me all through my middle and high school years. I honestly don't quite understand what cultivated these. Granted, I didn't expect everyone to like me or be my best friend, but I don't think I did anything significant enough to be talked about so much. My peers saw me in shows once or twice a year but for the most part I was a quiet, generally well-behaved LDS girl who paid attention in class, spent evenings in rehearsals or dance practice, and made friends at the appropriate social level in the hierarchy of high school. I wasn't considered one of the popular kids and I never did anything to tip the status quo that rules secondary school politics. I felt like I should've been able to slip under the radar. But that was definitely not the case. I've been called every name in the book and according to my classmates, I've done it all too: cheated on my boyfriends, been drunk, gone to the Shire to get high, made out with so and so by the dumpsters out back, had a one night stand. Heck, I've even had a threesome and with brothers, no less. That was one I'd never heard before. That took originality on someone's part. All I can say is well at least I made an impression.  

So Much for That

So I'm kind of a terrible person. Last week was crazy because I had a show, which means long rehearsals, stress, and no time for anything else. After a successful weekend of performances, I was melancholy it was over, but also excited at the prospect of getting back into the swing of normal life: exercising, eating right, getting my homework done, going to bed early. On Sunday, I self-declared that this week would be the week I got my life back in order. Starting on Tuesday because naturally I deserve at least one day to relax. But Tuesday I was going to get my butt in gear. And what happened? 

• Well on Tuesday, I skipped all my classes and justified it by doing yoga while listening to Beirut instead. 
• Wednesday I put off working on my presentation to edit pictures that just had to get put on Facebook asap. 
• And today, today I hit my snooze button some 30 odd times instead of getting up and working out and scripture studying like I'd planned, then threw my hair under a hat and thought of short story ideas while I should be paying attention in class.

So basically, in the week designated for getting my life back together, I've become a master of procrastination and zoning out whilst likely causing my roommate to hate me because she has to listen to my alarm clock in the morning since I suck at getting up. I rock at life.

Oh my lands, the wind!

Round and Round

So typically spend a lot of time in class not in class. Instead of spending my time paying attention and taking notes, I draw or write letters or scribble down other ideas before I lose them. Today was no exception. Not only did I draw my first owl (and then went on to doodle two more-one of which looked like a very fat chicken), but  I wrote a poem on the back of my assignment. 

Round and Round
By Bailey Loveless

I hate heights.
I have always hated
heights
And I know
That you know this.
So when we went to the fair
and you said,
"Let's go on that!"
and I looked at you all funny,
I was thinking,
"Are you freaking crazy?
I just ate for crying outloud!
Do you want me to throw up
all over your white dinner jacket?"
You know the one,
the one from the Macey's bag that I dressed you up in.
You grabbed me by the hand,
ran me reluctantly to the ticket stand,
And bought our tickets.
We got inside the thing
And I was shaking and feeling sick
But we were already on the ride.
I was committed.

It rumbled, it roared.
It started,
for lack of poetic terms.
Up and down, up and down,
Up and down we went.
I stared straight ahead, sick to my stomach,
Counting on you for reassurance,
and what did you do?
You laughed.
I could not believe you.
But you laughed
and laughed and laughed
And said,
"Look down, silly girl."
I stared and swallowed,
then peeked over the edge
And what do you know,
I smiled.
And the lights smiled back up at me,
Reflecting off the bay.
I giggled like a child
and said, "It's so pretty."
You kissed my nose.
"Yes it is dear."

I still feel a whole lot safer on the ground.
But I'll go round and round,
Round and round on the Ferris wheel
With you.

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A Day of Wishes

Today is the day of epic wishes. It's 11:11 on 11/11/11. Now that's something not to miss. I personally have alarms set for both the AM and the PM and plan on making my wishes on epic proportions. 

I love wishes. I think those small moments when we take the time to hope are important. Maybe they may seem trivial, or maybe I take wishes too seriously. But for me, it's taking some happy coincidence like a fallen eyelash and turning it into something meaningful, into a dream whether it be big or small. A chance to see what it is we want because until we have moments that call that into question, who really knows? We should dare to dream, to hope, to wish. To believe. Because they can come true. It may not be easy or happen the way we expect and it will almost indefinitely take work. But if you know what you want, then have faith in it. Wish for it. Make it happen. Because your wishes can come true if you're willing. You just have to keep believing.